Why Democrats Should Take the High Road

I run a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization that trains young women to run for office, but I’d like to take off my nonpartisan hat for a moment and address my Democratic brothers and sisters. As a Democrat and a woman, I was devastated by the election results. I felt as if someone I loved had died. This was in part because I would have loved for America to elect our first woman as president, and I thought Hillary would do a great job. But my despair was equally because I felt as if misogyny and intolerance had been normalized by the election. I have never felt so personally affected by an election, or as vaguely unsafe as I do right now.

I know that many people share my sentiment. There is a huge amount of anger out there mixed with bitter disappointment.  My own mother told me that I should stop trying to cheer her up – she needs to sit in her anger for a while. I understand that many people feel that way, but here is what I don’t like: I don’t like watching so many of us on the losing side of this election take the low ground. Here are a few examples: 
·   A Sign saying “Rape Melania” outside the Trump hotel

·   Claims that the election was rigged and plans to change the result  

·   Calling Melania a bitch and a whore

·   Calls to impeach Trump before he even takes office

I know people are angry – but our anger doesn’t give us permission to take the low road. When Michelle Obama said at the Democratic National Convention: “When they go low, we go high” I stood up and cheered. That is the kind of country I want America to be. That is the type of person I want to be.  What the First Lady was telling us was that hate doesn’t win, and that the only way we can change things is through love and finding understanding.  She was telling us to turn the other cheek and to be better than those who cross the line.

Our country is so deeply divided right now that I don’t even recognize it.  There is so much hate on both sides.  A friend told me that liberals have every right to lash out – that if Hillary had won Trump supporters would be doing the same thing. Even if that were true, it doesn’t make it right and it just guarantees that hate prevails. We don’t win that way.

My solution is for all of us to keeping working for what we believe in, and to find common ground when we can. This is not capitulation: this is the only way forward. Yesterday Democratic Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard had a meeting with Trump to discuss national security. She was much criticized for taking the meeting. In a statement she said: “…It is time for us to put our country first, and come together, regardless of political party, and tackle the many challenges we face.” At my nonpartisan organization, Running Start, we train young women from all across the political spectrum to run for political office. And we hope that the young women we train will be like Congresswoman Gabbard: willing to work across the aisle, and to listen to the other side. Isn't that patriotism at its purest?

Those of us who wish the election had gone another way need to be smart now. We need to be our best selves. We need to be adults who persevere even when things don’t go our way.  So, no more name calling. No demonizing those who voted for Trump. No more talk of how the election was rigged and trying to change the results (isn’t this what we made Trump promise he wouldn’t do if he lost?).  We need to put our big girl panties on and get back to work.

We live in a democracy, and one of the greatest hallmarks of our system is free and fair elections. We honor those results even when we don’t like them. So if you are angry, write to your Congressional office. March in the streets.  Give money to causes you believe in. Write op-eds and blogs about the importance of your issues. Make sure you keep up with the news so you are informed and ready to act. Recruit good people to run for office and help them to win their races. Hold forums and support groups on issues of importance. Talk to your children and teach them how to be comfortable with differences of opinion. And, as we encourage Running Start participants to do, reach out today to someone who you don’t understand and try to find common ground.