Five Ways to Unplug from Work

Last Saturday, I woke up at 5 a.m., and instead of going back to sleep for hours like I should have done, I checked my email. And there in the dark, in my cozy bed, I started thinking about work and all the things I had left undone. I hopped up, read the paper filled with depressing news of the world, then opened my laptop and got to work. And I have to tell you, I felt pretty virtuous. But at the end of the day, I was still behind on my work, as well as depleted and overwhelmed.

Work for most of us is the bucket that can never be filled no matter how much we pour into it. So I was happy to come across this excellent article from the Harvard Business Review, just before I left work for a long break, about the importance of totally recharging. The authors say that the more we push ourselves to work without giving our brains a true rest, the quicker we burn out. Resilience is what allows us to weather storms in our life, but resilience isn't gained by relentless work. They say that "the key to resilience is trying really hard, then stopping, recovering, and then trying again." But most of us don't value recovery. We push ourselves all the time, and we pride ourselves on being workaholics.

I've been thinking a lot about what recovery means. It is probably a little different for everyone, but it surely includes turning off all thoughts of work. It means giving your brain time to shut down and be quiet. It means allowing yourself long moments where you don't do anything productive except maybe moving your body. And it means not taking ourselves too seriously.

Here is my list of what I need to feel truly refreshed:

Unplug. I love my phone. It gives me good feedback, interesting news, love from my friends. But I check it way too often. I am going to try to check it only infrequently on the weekends and after work. And I'm going to never ever check it in the middle of the night or first thing when I wake up.

Make time for loved ones. Nothing is better for me than spending quality time with my friends and family – talking, walking, cooking, eating. This morning, three generations of my family sat around the fire and told stories and looked at old family photos. Afterwards I felt totally recharged and happy.

Get in a state of flow. I've always loved the concept of flow. As described here, "flow is when a person [1] is engaged in a doable task, [2] is able to focus, [3] has a clear goal, [4] receives immediate feedback, [5] moves without worrying, [6] has a sense of control, [7] has suspended the sense of self, and [8] has temporarily lost a sense of time." I feel this way deep into a long run, or sometimes on the climbing wall. But you can find it writing, creating art or doing anything where you get your ego out of the way and allow your id to take over.

Relax your mind. My children go to a Quaker school where long periods of quiet reflection start in kindergarten. When they were little, the boys instituted a new tradition in our family building off of what they learned in school. As we sat down for dinner, they would ask the table to join hands and they would call for a moment of silence. We still do it, and many days this brief moment of silence is the most peaceful and spiritual of my whole day. I know it recharges me, and I want to make more time where I just sit, clear my mind and be.

Be silly. Many of my friends only read nonfiction books, watch documentaries and never miss a news story. I don't fall into this category. My favorite movies include "Half Baked," "There's Something About Mary" and "Trainwreck" and I've read every "Harry Potter" book, and maybe even all of the "Twilight" books. I know that I need this total escape, but I'm usually not proud of it. But maybe we should all embrace the silly, the sentimental and the totally unserious during our downtime. There is no better way to totally turn off our usually frenetic minds than to laugh way too hard at a stupid movie.

I love the message that it is not only OK to let go, but that it actually makes you more productive and more energized once you do begin to work again. So as we write our new year's resolutions, let's cross out work harder and replace it with spend more time letting go and recharging.